Archive for opinions

Quarter-Life Crisis/Questions

This article I ran across is very timely, though its already been out since April. Really interesting and funny – read here!

The gist: it’s about the “Quarter Life Crisis,” which is a life-time phase when twenty-some year olds, generally people who are two years or so into the real world after college, start to lose track of themselves within the haziness of what they should be doing with their life, partly fueled by all the possibilities and potential out there. Apparently, it’s associated with a kind of private worry that manifests itself as this “ennui,” or “fucking around,” or “self-flagellation,” as the article calls it, haha. It’s a socially constructed, middle-class issue that only emerged as a term in 2001, but has become a pervasive problem that people at this age apparently struggle with, whether delusionally or in reality.

Some gems from the article:

“…Attempts to manage the Quarterlife Crisis might be as banal as drinking a lot, doing a bunch of drugs, sleeping with idiots and myriad other kinds of self-flagellation, but broader attempts are made to find some sense of purpose…”

“…This isolation and its private anxiety are pervasive, as is a longing for the way things were in the predictably structured eras of high school and college or university. The directionlessness and resulting immobility is made worse when twentysomethings going through the Crisis compare themselves to their peers, past and present, further convincing someone in the throes of it that they’re not only alone, but the worst kind of failure…”

“…“There is life on the other side of this, and it’s actually a pretty good one. Growing up may be hard to do, but in the end, the gains outweigh the losses.” In other words: it might just be time to grow the fuck up.”

It’s entertaining, if not slightly enlightening. I think 2010 Seniors haven’t quite gotten to this state of disillusionment yet. I think we’re more excited about the prospect of this final semester and what’s coming in post-college life, as well as, relishing in the few months and moments we have left with people here, as we should be.

While this “Quarter-life Crisis” may be something of actual concern in this population of adults, part of me discredits it as an immature and formalized expression of laziness and and unwillingness to work hard. (I’m not accusing all 25-year-olds of being lazy, I just think that is problem is partly the result of laziness…) I certainly don’t mean to discredit the fact that we all have every right to happy with what we make of our time, whether it be in grad school or at a job or in a relationship – everyone is entitled to satisfaction and fulfillment. What bothers me is when people think things are meant to be easy, or that things like happiness and a strong sense of purpose in life are supposed to come without the work.

I agree that a lot of people feel entitled, or feel that just because they are young and have the time to figure it all out, they should be out there having the time of their lives and being spontaneous and taking big chances. I obviously don’t mean that this is altogether bad; leaving your options open, being willing to try things out, and living large is important when you have the time, energy, and resources for it. But moving around from thing to thing, waiting until you find something that’s ideal or perfect, because you think your life should be ideal or perfect, is stupid.

Things are meant to be hard right? Or else doing things wouldn’t be worth it. Yes, when you’re young, life is supposed to be a little less hard than when you’re older. And by all means, don’t settle (if you can help it). But all in all, people should be realistic. Instead of looking around for things that are bigger and better, take the initiative to make the most out of things that are in your control. This is, of course, easier said than done. But it beats feeling aimless, helpless, and powerless. If anything, being at the 25-year-ish mark of your life means you actually have the ability to do something about it.

From the Best Freshman Roommate I Could Have Ever Asked For

This wonderful piece in The Harvard Crimson’s FM Magazine is written by the most awesome freshman roommate I could have ever asked for: Emily Graff. A shout out for special memories in Grays M53!

One of the best parts about about being friends with Emily – in addition to lessons in fashion (I owe my knowledge of Christian Louboutin and Tory Burch to her), decorating advice, advice in general, and the in on the best hookah bars in NYC – is that she lets me read her writing pieces. Sometimes, even before she turns them in.

This latest one is about something that everyone is familiar with. The full piece, which I highly recommend you read, Harvard people, is here; some of my favorite bits are below. It’s titled “Pass,” and is about her experience this summer as an intern for a publishing company – specifically, the part that required her to write letters of rejection.

“…I saw myself on every page. I’ve been rejected from high schools and colleges, from a capella groups and publications and summer opportunities. I know what it feels like to send a piece of yourself out into the silence. And I know what it feels like to get the thin envelope or the small package or the short email back.

And now, here I was, pairing “so I think we’re going to have to pass” and “I’m not sure how to position this on our list” with compliments about “lush descriptions” and “compelling narrative voices.” I felt powerful, at first, but that soon wore off. I was left with a dull ache—it’s a mix of guilt and heartbreak…

…On T.V. and in newspaper articles, they call us a coddled generation. Bubble-wrapped kids. We—Generation Y, Millennials, whatever—are told that we feel entitled to success. When faced with failure, we are meant to fold in upon ourselves, to give up.

And sure, I think about that sometimes. But as August rolls around and I prepare for senior year and for the real world, for a recessed economy and a shrinking job market, I prepare for the hundreds upon hundreds of rejections that lay ahead.

Because if I know anything, I know that after all the Nos, you only ever really need one Yes…”

It’s perfect. I love Emily Graff. You should too.

Unemployed = Funemployed? Really?

First post about an article from The Stimulist. The article was taken from The LA Times, and falls into category number 2: “Idea to Consider.” The idea is this: seeing unemployment as an opportunity to live life differently – more freely, more spontaneously, and possibly even more happily.

The story interviews a few people who were “freed” of their 9 to 5’s, all of whom have realized that the unemployed life may not be so bad after all. Rather than being a hole out of which one must quickly dig, unemployment becomes more like a vacation or opportunity, where individuals can take more time to travel, figure out what it is they really want to do, and enjoy life. I love this quote: ” ‘Recession gives people permission to be unemployed,’ said David Logan, a professor at USC’s Marshall School of Business. ‘Why not make use of the time and go do something fun?’ “

One of the positive things that I also agree with is that being unemployed gives one the new perspective that being tied down at work for the majority of the day and week isn’t healthy. It’s the perspective that Life isn’t necessarily defined by Work, and that one might have even more meaningful goals in other things, whether that be Family, Love, or Hobbies. It’s true – Americans are known to be more engrossed in their work than, for example, people in France who are known to work less hours with more vacation days. And it could be seen as a problem for people’s overall health: stress in work can contribute to weaker immune systems, less resilience in times of illness, unhealthy emotional states, and just overall unhappiness.

My complaint is not necessarily with the article as much as it is with the people the article quotes. Sure, unemployment can be seen as an opportunity of sorts – take some time to travel, recharge, come back with a new perspective. But the fact is that having a job provides financial stability, a comfortable and secure living, and mental exercise, not to mentioned overall benefit to society (in most cases haha). Too much fun or relaxation might take away the sense of responsibility that we feel when we work, or the sense of drive that we have in accomplishing our goals. This article just sounded like it was encouraging laziness more than merely taking some time to enjoy life.

Clearly, we shouldn’t lie on either extremes – too much work OR too much play. Maybe this is naive from my perspective, with all the opportunities that I’ve been privileged enough to have, but I would think that (at least for these people the article quotes), finding a job that one enjoys and uses to compliment life and energize it is a balance that is attainable.

Hopefully one doesn’t have to be unemployed for long to realize this…