little by little

My new favorite movie of all time.

I watched it again just recently (a much better pick that seeing Harry Potter 6 for another time). Everyone (at least every girl) I’ve talked to who’s seen this movie has appreciated it for its honesty. I think the second time around, I picked up on more of the nuances of the story. Below are a few snippets from an interview with the film’s director Marc Webb, where he talks a little bit more about his intentions in the movie and what he wanted audiences to feel and think about. I’ve made some comments on his words along the way.

Marc Webb on the story he wanted to tell:

“…to me it’s a coming of age story masked as a romantic comedy. To me it’s about growing up; Summer isn’t just a girl, she’s a phase of your life. It is something that we’ve all gone through and all experienced, and there’s certainly a romantic element, and there’s an examination of the ambiguity of certain kinds of relationships. But at the end of the day, it’s how you negotiate that and how you deal with that that’s important to me.”

In a sense, that’s all life is, right? Some sort of continuous coming-of-age? Sure, it’s marked by people and places and events, but ultimately what matters is how you are responding to things.  You’re at the center of all of these things that are meant to shape who you are.

Marc Webb on how things start in love:

“…I think that they’re both young, they’re both single, they’re in this work environment where they spend a lot of time with each other, and when you mix that together and they’re both attractive people, what else is going to happen? Romance grows from that, from proximity, and he may construe these things as destiny or fate or whatever, but the truth is, I suppose, that it’s not uncommon for people to have similar interests, and how much you weigh that is really up to you. My feeling is that Tom reads too much into it.”

I didn’t realize this fully the first time I watched it, but ultimately, the story ends with Tom no longer believing in fate or destiny. Things are purely coincidence, and if you don’t open your eyes wide enough to see this, you miss out.

I believe in chance. I believe in luck. But I believe we have to be ready to be lucky. I also believe that things that “fall into our lap,” so to speak, are not meant to be taken for granted. I believe that we still have to do the work.

Marc Webb on moving on:

“I wanted the audience to be in Tom’s shoes, right? That was my primary objective, and I wanted people to be in love with her, I wanted them to be annoyed with her, but at the end of the movie I wanted us to have come to terms with her and at the very least understand her and want good things for her ultimately. It’s very convenient to vilify someone like that, but I think when you stop being angry, that’s when you get over a person, and it’s not always easy.”

This is so true. I’m not a Summer-hater. I actually quite like her (and her wispy, oddly-rhythmed voice and movements) in the movie—she is this very free, random spirit who does what she wants, as she admits herself in the movie. But at the same time, when other people’s feelings and hopes are on the line, things can’t be simplified like that. But again, she’s justified to feel the way she feels right? Nobody can tie her down and force her to do something she doesn’t want to do. And as unfair as it is for people like Tom, things like this happen all the time.

Marc Webb on romantic comedies and being a man:

“… it’s a tricky thing because so often these movies have to do with female wish fulfillment. It’s empowering as a genre for women typically, but it doesn’t necessarily vocalize true emotions for guys; at the center of a lot of romantic comedies there’s a genuine desire to contemplate relationships, but for me it doesn’t resonate…the coming of age aspect, and romance and relationships are a big part of how you learn to be a man nowadays, like how you identify yourself. Tom’s arc in this movie is a really simple, very basic one; our film is a very small, very cordoned-off section of a young man’s life. At the beginning of the movie, he is afraid to ask a girl out; there’s that scene outside the karaoke bar, and she’s like, “do you like me?” “Well, yeah I like you.” And they have this sort of awkward thing and it’s like there’s a subtext in that scene which is that she’s like “kiss me,” or “ask me out,” or “be a man.”

“He’s off-kilter and he doesn’t know exactly how to handle himself in that situation because he thinks, well, the universe will take care of this. I don’t have to put my ass out there. I’ll just hold my cards close to my vest and I won’t have to be assertive. At the end of the movie, he asks a girl out, and that’s his arc. It’s a very small arc, but being afraid to ask a girl out at the beginning of the movie and at the end of the movie, he asks her out. And I think that we need to be reminded of how to be men occasionally when it comes to romance and relationships, and when it’s told from the woman’s point of view, very often it’s not a very realistic portrayal of manhood. You need that guy’s point of view to harbor that…”

The focus of the movie, I realize now, is Tom. It’s not the relationship as a whole; it’s just him. Even when these bad things happen, we all reach some level of personal growth or change. You know things you didn’t know before, whether things ended well or not…you handle things differently the next time around. It’s like “practice” almost haha…not to sound like a robot.

Marc Webb’s last comments:

“Personally, when I read the script there’s a line in the movie when Paul is talking to the camera and he says, “she’s not the girl of my dreams. The girl of my dreams would have bigger boobs, like sports more, be a little hotter. But she’s better than the girl of my dreams: she’s real.” That little thought, that little tidbit I think is really powerful. I read that and it articulated a feeling that I had that I hadn’t been able to express in a really efficient way, and I think it’s a reminder again of this sort of notion or this idea of romance can get subverted and perverted and it starts to lose its meaning. That statement unlocked that for me a little bit.”

The movie is very real. Whether you see yourself as the guy or the girl or the best friend, it’s very tangible. The moment that the director’s talking about with the character Paul, it’s so perfect. And true—maybe we should stop chasing things that we make up in our heads and just start taking things for what they are. And I think the movie is sort of a metaphor for that: it gives it to you as it is, not sugar-coated and laced with cheesy clichés. It’s real.

I’ve moved on from my HP Soundtrack phase to 500 Days of Summer tracks…have a listen to “You Make My Dream” by Hall and Oates – best feel good song out there.

from Time Magazine here.

A beautiful/sad quote from the review:

“…The story is really about the risks boys take for the grown-ups whose favor they cherish….”

Ahhh, a little over 12 hours!

Will be watching in a little over 48 hours! Below are a few clips:

She’s so pretty. Clip featured inside. Cannot wait until next Tuesday MIDNIGHT!